The new succes #3

Life partner tekst

As the only single in my circle of friends (except for my Not so stuffy colleague Janet, of course) I felt – and feel – like a stranger in our midst. A couple of years ago I regularly heard jokes about cat ladies and confirmed bachelors. And sometimes it felt like I had to justify my choice of being single, that my life goal is not the white picket fence dream. As time goes by, I don’t hear so many remarks about my living as a single lady anymore (or maybe I don’t notice it…). And I like that. Want to know why? Well…

When I was younger and we used to talk about the future almost everyone I knew had the same goals in life: finding a partner, having children, finding a well paid and steady job, buying a house and sometimes people talked about wanting to have a pet (a labrador, to be more precise). If they would have reached these goals, they would have the perfect life. Or so they thought. I never recognized myself in this picture. And this never changed. Nowadays almost all those friends have this ‘succesful’ life. And I don’t. Does that mean I failed? I don’t think so!

First, I like you to know that I love living on my own. It suits me. Freedom, independence and space just for yourself. Those are big plusses for me. And not having the responsibility for another human being. Choosing what I want to do, without having to think about the consequences for people living with me. No children? Fine. My decision. Starting my own company? If I want too… Emigrating. A possibility. Blogging? Definately, because I can and I want to.

Don’t get me wrong. Every human being is different and has different needs. Am I happy for the people I know that they started families? Yes, definately. I want them to be as happy as they can be. And I also hope they wish all the best for me.

Apart from this all, honestly? I think someone has to put up with a lot if they have to live with me. I am kind of dificult ;)

And still, I’m also only just a person with feelings and insecurities. With taking the risk of sounding like a grandma: when I was younger, the remarks did get to me. And maybe that’s still the case. It doesn’t really get me to doubt what I want though. It makes me wonder if people see me for who I am. Maybe I don’t meet up to current standards and I don’t belong… Because, well, single persons in a group of friends who all have partners and kids can be difficult. I also want to feel ‘in’ and accepted. That’s why I love that the jokes have stopped.

Does this mean I don’t need people in my life?No, I need friendships. I can’t imagine mylife without them. I need like-minded people around me, people who inspire me, people who I click with. I like unexpected meetings with people on trains, in the library, in a café. Talking to random people makes me happy and sometimes even inspires me. Nobody can decide for you what makes your life ‘succesful’. It’s not defined by general things. It’s different for everyone. 1 thing is most important, I think: you’ll be your own life partner forever. You can’t change that. And by that, I’d like to conclude that my succesful life starts with me.

What do you think? Are you also the only single in your group of friends? Or do you have singles in your group of friends while you’re together with

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